I'm posting this again, one year later, because the feelings remain and the holiday arrived last night. I've set the timer to post this during the holiday [That way I didn't have to break the rules and post it during down time.] When you hear about things like the urgency of the bail out vote because of the Jewish Holiday of Rosh Hashanah - this is what they're talking about.
September 12, 2007 A NEW YEAR, A 36th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, A LOT TO THINK ABOUT
Tonight begins Rosh Hashanah - the New Year celebration that launches the holy season of the Days of Awe that continues until Yom Kippur - the Day of Atonement. It's also a huge day for me - in more than one way. Rick and I were married 36 years ago today. On a boat on the Monongahela River. We've been through a lot - maybe more than most couples - but we've hung on and we're reaping the rewards of a shared history. So to have this remarkable landmark fall on the eve of a holy day of renewal is really something.
This is another anniversary, too. Our third living an observant life. We first came here for Rosh Hashanah services 4 years ago, met our remarkable rabbi and began the journey that has led us to a new, moving, inspiring, frustrating, challenging, occasionally painful, sometimes completely uplifting life. We share new feelings, new friends, new aspirations to goodness and a sense of God, new challenges and inspirations. AND we're still sharing them with each other. That too is remarkable.
Now as we move toward observance of these days, toward prayers and meals and friends and -- especially joyful - a visit from one of our sons and his girl friend, I am both grateful and anxious. We are supposed to think about debts and obligations, sins and redemption. I still carry a painful resentment - toward someone who has hurt me deeply and, I suspect, believes that I hurt them. I need to deal with this but am still struggling to figure out how. But I know I will - that I must. That's the other gift of this season - a confrontation with the personal flaws that impede our prayers and our happiness.
To those who have offered us so much guidance and support, with whom we've had such fun and such meaningful prayers (and meals - and visits) I wish you the gift of as much goodness as you've brought us - an enormous deluge of joy. To our dear rabbi and his family a special thanks for being our gateway to this new life and all that it has meant.
And to Rick, my partner, love and best friend, eternal gratitude to you
for your courage and determination, love and generosity, talents and
humor and incredible incredible soul. Happy anniversary. Thanks for
the memories, the adventures, our amazing children, and this
astonishing, still emerging journey. L'shana tova.